Ensuing my previous post, I have to say that life is so unpredictable. To the point where you never know when it takes a turn for the “complicated”. What I mean to say is; sometimes life is so random and out of the blue that you are faced with a situation that forces you to question the theory of “right” and “wrong”. It starts when you’re little, your parents, teachers and other such mentors generally instill this idea of right and wrong into your subconscious. Which in turn would birth this uncontrollable feeling of guilt should you ever goof up.
As you grow you come to learn that something’s are black and white when it comes to wrong and right. There is no common ground or middle ground as they put it. But, at the same time, there are moments where there’s this grey shadowy area called “complicated” where you just can’t tell whether the guilt you’re feeling is justified or not.
As a result of this shadowy pit you feel at the bottom of your stomach, you turn to the counsel of your numerous closest and dearest. Everyone with a different opinion and different advice (and we usually end up following the advice closest to what we want to hear not what would necessarily be good for us). Regardless, you know deep within somewhere what the “right” thing do is; yet there’s this force pulling you, coercing you and seducing you to do the complete opposite.
How do you justify that? How can you risk tearing yourself apart to choose between what you desire to do from what you ought to do?
At this juncture, I have no answer and hence am of no help. But, I hope that sometime in the near future I will have closure with regards to this matter and learn to stand firm on one side (not sit on the fence wondering which way to lean).
- Caller: Hi AIshwarya John here.
- Me: Hi it's Aishwarya from Leader Healthcare
- Caller: I sure hope it is... cause I'm calling you!
- Me: I'm having a long a day...
- Caller: But, it hasn't started yet!
- Boyfriend: Hey, I love you
- Sis: I love you too babe
- Boyfriend: No, seriously I can't stop thinking about you. My heart starts hurting when you're not with me. I can't stop listening to stupid love songs that remind me of you. And I miss you so much...
- Sis: Fine. I get it. You want a sandwich.
- Boyfriend: Love you babe.